By Sharoni Sibony
“We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.”
Thus wrote the African-American poet and novelist, Paul Laurence Dunbar, in 1895. I’ve been thinking of this poem a lot these past few months, as friends tell me about the moments when they’ve chosen not to disclose their Jewish identity, when they’ve taken off the Magen David necklace they’ve worn for years, when they play the role of the jester, laughing along with a colleague’s anti-Semitic language to get by. This year, some of us may be feeling more than usually the need to mask ourselves – for safety, for protection, for self-preservation, to preserve family relationships or friendships. Or some of us may be feeling a desire to boldly unmask, lay our authentic selves bare, be openly vulnerable, and/or reveal aspects of ourselves that we hide sometimes.
Dunbar was writing in response to the experience of being Black in Postbellum America, but I certainly hear the echoes of Queen Esther in his words – the studied, guarded, timed ways in which her own Jewish disclosure came to necessary, and fruitful, fruition.
Over the past few months, we’ve built up a monthly space for processing and reflecting upon our own experiences of the moment through creative acts, in a series we call ShavuART Tov: Sunday Sparks of Spiritual Creativity. This Sunday morning, we meet again to look at short texts from the Tanach about both Moses and Esther, as we explore the dynamics of hiding and revealing, closing and disclosing, masking and unmasking in our own lives, and prepare to deepen into Purim. Then we get to play with art materials as we quietly process our reflections on the texts. You do NOT have to have artistic tendencies to participate in the creative process – in fact, some of the most joyful and reflective participation comes from folks who play with simple lines or finger painting! (Of course, if you are artistically inclined, you are most welcome, too.)
In the meantime, I highly recommend watching this beautiful video from Girls In Trouble to get in the mood: https://vimeo.com/512690761
And on Monday night, I hope you’ll join us for an outward-facing take on this conversation: Talking to Our Families and Friends about Israel, with Dr. Betsy Stone – an online-only program in which we’ll be joined by visitors from various American communities for this important conversation.
Rabbi Baruchel and I are moving house.
The month of Adar, and the story of Purim, is one that asks us to be open to the idea of hidden miracles. Yes, it’s true that God goes unmentioned throughout the Megillah, but the presence of God peeks through. Mordechai is at the right place at the right time to save the life of the king. Esther has that special something that moves a man known for taking out his displeasure on disobedient wives. Even the pur, the lots that Purim draws its name from, fall in an improbably and lucky way. Are all those moments just a nice coincidence?
The message of Purim is never that ‘God isn’t there.’ No! The message of Purim is always ‘look for a God who is hiding.’ An entire phrase is drawn from it in rabbinic literature- hester panim. The hidden face.
Which brings me back to moving house.
Today we went to the empty house to take measurements. Where will we put our couch? Do we need to get rid of our cabinet? Can we bust out our meat dishes again? (The current kitchen is too small for two sets of dishes, so we’ve been vegetarian at home since the move.) Hold this, measure that, should we put this there?
On inspection, we found out that the house isn’t entirely empty! There are a few things here and there that the landlord has been storing and using as staging, a cabinet in the basement, a bookshelf in the guest room, a little table in the kitchen. “Your choice if you want them or not.” He tells us “I’ll get rid of them if you don’t.”
And while exploring the basement Rabbi Baruchel looked on top of one of those cabinets and found a book! One of the only things left in this nearly empty house!
I took a photo.
Can you believe it?!
Not only is it a siddur. It’s OUR siddur! Some time ago, maybe the people right before us, maybe before them, who knows… someone from this synagogue lived in this home, and they left it behind.
In any other month that’s a nice coincidence.
But in Adar… that’s a sign.
A sign of what Rabbi? I don’t know yet! I do know that the world can be a frightening place these days, and that uncertainty is everywhere. Moving house is symbolic in many ways, it represents that turbulence as we are readjusting our lives. But for me in that moment, finding that siddur might as well have been a flashing sign that said, ‘This is where you need to be.’
Mishe nichnas Adar, marbim b’simcha!
As the Month of Adar enters, our joy increases!
God knows this lived up to that, it certainly made me smile.
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Founded in 1856, Holy Blossom Temple is Toronto’s first synagogue with a rich history of tradition and modernity in our religious and spiritual expression.