What I Found When I Stopped Searching
What I Found When I Stopped Searching
By Or Litchi Yoel
Before coming to [Camp Shalom], I shared a personal post on Facebook that received over 1,000 likes from the Jewish community. There’s one paragraph I want to share with you here, because it touches on why I kept some distance until now:
“…This past winter, I had to step back to take care of my mental health. It wasn’t easy being away, especially from the people and places that matter most — like Holy Blossom Temple, where I was embraced with love from day one…”
When I first came to the Temple, I was searching for answers — mainly, “what is wrong with me?” I didn’t find the answer there, but something else happened. Something I still can’t fully explain: a deep energy, especially during Kabbalat Shabbat, and the warmth of remarkable people. It wasn’t something to rely on — it was something to carry with me.
That’s why I chose to take my healing journey away from Temple, with a heart full of longing. Around January, the combat PTSD from the war hit harder than I expected. I used to joke that “we all have PTSD,” but I didn’t realize how real and intense it could be. That’s when I decided to take a step back, quietly, until I was strong again.
Today, I’m at Camp Shalom. The situation hasn’t changed much on the outside, but my inner strength has grown immensely. I’ve not only reclaimed skills I thought I’d lost — I’ve discovered new ones I didn’t know I had.
These days, I’m working on the next chapter: planning for what comes after camp, extending my status, and figuring out life here. The details are still forming, but המורל גבוה והראש איתן —
“my morale is high, and my head is held strong.”
I may have an opportunity with a local theatre in Toronto, and once the paperwork is settled, I’ll explore housing. JIAS has offered to help if I find a suitable lease.
You’re welcome to share both Facebook posts with your members. It would be more than an honor for me to offer something back to the נשמה — the soul — of the very people who gave, and continue to give, so much to mine.
Links for Facebook post:
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