Happy Iscove Reflection: 83 is the New 13

83 is the New 13

By Happy Iscove

On Shavuot in 1974, Helen Lyon and I read from the Torah and Haftarah as the first “adult” bat mitzvah celebrants at Holy Blossom Temple. This marked a turning point in the congregation’s approach to adult Jewish education and ritual participation, paving the way for greater inclusivity and lifelong learning.

Traditionally, girls become bat mitzvah at age 12 and boys at 13, marking their entrance into the adult Jewish community, complete with its responsibilities.

Many Jews who never celebrated becoming a bar or bat mitzvah as adolescents choose to do so as adults. And some who did celebrate at the traditional ages choose to take part in a second bar or bat mitzvah observance at age 83.

Psalm 90:10 reads: “[As for] the days of our years, in them are seventy years…”

The tradition of celebrating a 2nd Bar Mitzvah at age 83 is based on the idea that 70 years after the first, a person has lived a full biblical lifespan and can mark a new spiritual milestone.

Since a Jew becomes a Bar Mitzvah (literally son of the commandment) at age 13, and remains so throughout his life, the term 2nd Bar Mitzvah seems a misnomer. Nonetheless, it is a beautiful sentiment, and the ritual is becoming more common as people live longer, more active lives. In fact, actor Kirk Douglas z”l, not only celebrated a 2nd Bar Mitzvah at age 83 but a third at 96!

Four men in our own congregation have participated in a 2nd Bar Mitzvah.

Nine years ago, Robert Ruderman approached Rabbi Splansky about observing the custom.  To mark his 83rd birthday, he led the Ashrei and chanted sections from his original bar mitzvah Torah and haftarah portions.

As a youngster, John Freund celebrated his bar mitzvah in Terezin. Although his family and town rabbi were there, it was different from what it would have been under happier circumstances.  Grateful for his survival and appreciative for his life in Toronto, when John turned 83 in 2013, he chose to read part of his original Torah portion – thus marking his second bar mitzvah.

This past October, Harvey Naftolin spontaneously celebrated his bar mitzvah for the second time. It must have been beshert. The night before, after Erev Shabbat services, Harvey mentioned to Rabbi Splansky that that week was his bar mitzvah portion – Bereshit.  She asked Harvey how old he was and if he still remembered his portion. “83 and yes, I remember.”

Harvey read from the Torah the next morning, accompanied by the full fanfare accorded a bar mitzvah.

Mark Zeidenberg is in a unique situation.  He was born 52 years ago on February 29th, a leap year. This year is his 13th birthday on that actual date. He is excited to mark the occasion with a second bar mitzvah – an Aliyah to the Torah.

These men found the 2nd Bar Mitzvah experience to be particularly meaningful and were proud to share it with their families and our Holy Blossom congregation.

If you will be turning 83 and would like to celebrate with a second bar/bat mitzvah, please contact JoAnne Bieman at 416 789-3291, extension 276.

Editor’s Note: The following reflection was originally written in 2020 and, while newly published, contains some references and timelines that reflect that period.