Rabbinic Reflection: Rabbi Yael Splansky

In Memoriam: Dr. Barry Borden, Holy Blossom Temple President 1998-2000

Dutiful. This is the attribute, the character trait that was once so well-known and so widespread. But today, to devote oneself to a life of service is so rare and so very admired.

Barry Borden was dutiful to his parents of blessed memory. Barry was dutiful to his siblings, who are also remembered today. Barry was dutiful to his wife Susan (next week marks 60 years since they first met at summer camp), to his children and grandchildren. Barry was dutiful to his patients. And dutiful to Holy Blossom Temple.

Barry, the Temple President

Barry was born and raised — Consecration, Bar Mitzvah, and Confirmation here at Holy Blossom. But it wasn’t until his brother Alan died young, alav haShalom, and Barry came regularly to say Kaddish that he was tapped for leadership. Eventually, he chaired the Department of Worship and then became Temple President. Barry loved everything about the role. It was challenging and interesting, as only these Past Presidents who stood as Honour Guard for Barry today really know.

As soon as Barry took his seat right there on the aisle — in Row P, for President – everything melted away. For someone who was so hard-working and so attentive to everyone else’s concerns throughout the week, Shabbat morning in this sanctuary, there in Row P, was when Barry could quietly turn to contemplation, prayer, and matters of the spirit.

As Past President, Barry continued to make Holy Blossom his concern. He mentored other Temple leaders. He was a trusted sounding board and advisor to many, including me. He cared for Rabbis, Cantors, and made L’Shanah Tovah calls to everyone who worked here, every single year. I, too, was a recipient of Barry’s warmth and care. I trusted him and would call from time to time for his insight into Temple life or to get his read on a delicate matter. And he trusted me with the same. So, like all of you who are here today and like countless others, my life was also made better because of Barry Borden’s care.

Barry the Physician

One might think that his God-given intellect, coupled with his strong work ethic, was the winning formula that led to an impressive career. One might think that his God-given agile hands in the ER and his love of mentoring medical students and young physicians was the winning formula. But Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel points to another necessary ingredient.

In 1964, Heschel, the theologian, was invited to address the annual meeting of the American Medical Association in a program on “The Patient as Person.” There he taught, “The doctor must realize the supreme nobility of his vocation, to cultivate a taste for the pleasures of the soul. … The doctor is a major source of moral energy affecting the spiritual texture and substance of the entire society.” Dr. Barry Borden understood this instinctively. He was attentive and compassionate for each of his patients, and they loved him for it. “To minister to the sick is to minister to God,” Heschel stated. “The doctor is God’s partner in the struggle between life and death. Religion is medicine in the form of a prayer; medicine is prayer in the form of a deed.”

Barry Borden was a deeply prayerful person and a traditionalist. For him, all life was a matter of the spirit – how to care for a patient, how to care for a congregation, how to love and lead a family, how to study Torah on Shabbat Mornings, how to be quiet by the lakeside, surrounded by nature, how to impart a love of Jewish tradition — like how to bless a mezuzah or blow a shofar, even when he had so little breath — so that grandchildren will always remember where they came from and to whom they belong – ALL these and more were spiritual obligations, spiritual expressions that came from the core of who Barry Borden was.

Barry was tapped by Rabbi Plaut and Dr. Ellie Cass to train up as a mohel. It was a perfect convergence of Barry’s skills as a physician and as a leader of the Jewish community…. and as an early riser. Barry proudly carried his black leather “bris-kit” from house to house and brought hundreds of baby boys into the covenant between God and the Jewish People. Eventually, Barry became the Dean of the Reform Mohalim of Toronto and trained up the next generation of Mohalim and helped Hebrew Union College develop the Reform Movement’s certification program for Mohalim from across North America.

Barry’s Final Weeks

Barry Borden did not get the easy end he deserved. His eyes were dimmed; his movement became shaky; his words became jumbled. But thanks to his strong will, thanks to Susan’s strong love, thanks to good doctors, and thanks to God’s blessing, Barry did enjoy a quality of life for the many years that he was physically and neurologically compromised.

Barry made a great effort to come to Holy Blossom’s recent celebration of our 170^th anniversary. At the beginning of the night, he said he didn’t think he’d be able to stay long, but at the end of the night… There was Barry!… absolutely kvelling, lit up with pride in this congregation to which he devoted himself for decades.

Barry remained an excellent communicator – at the Board Room table, at the Shabbat Dinner table, at the Torah Study table, where we treasured every insight he struggled to articulate. In his final days, Barry gave me a smile and moved his lips to “sing” the Shema with me. A few days later, his voice returned for just one more day. Barry attributed this as a gift from God, so that he could give his final blessings. Surrounded by three generations of his family, Barry mustered his last strength to give each one a blessing. Soon he will be carried with honour and laid to rest by them — his sons-in-law and his grandchildren.

His name was Baruch. Susan says, “It was the perfect name for him.” His parents gave him the name that means “Blessed. Praised.” We can all agree. Baruch was the perfect name for Barry Borden.

Zichrono livrachah. May his memory be a blessing for all who were blessed by his care. Amen.