Reflection: My Gap Year in Israel

Reflection: My Gap Year in Israel

By Darya Diamond

As we mark 418 days from an event in Jewish history that will scar an entire nation forever, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my gap year in Israel. It is almost impossible for me to describe the rollercoaster of a year I experienced. It will be ingrained in my mind forever and while some may view that as a negative, I think of it as quite the opposite.

August 31st, 2023, I boarded the plane to Israel terrified but ready and excited for my new journey. I vividly remember the feeling I had in the airport before my flight. I had just left home for 9 months, completely alone. All my life I have been told about the magic feeling you get when you land in Ben Gurion airport. I desperately wanted that feeling. I was prepared to step off the plane and feel like I was home. However, it wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that I really experienced that feeling.

After meeting over 180 eager Jewish teens from all over the world and spending meaningful time together in holy places like the Kotel or other less holy places like Rothschild Street, I was beginning to understand why this country is so important. I could see right in front of me the power we all have as young Jewish leaders.

October 6th, I was in Tzfat celebrating Simchat Torah, which is meant to be one of the happiest and holiest days of the year. We were all so genuinely happy to be alive and proud to be Jews celebrating our history. We danced and sang throughout the evening. No one was prepared for what was to come next.

As we awoke the next morning, all I can remember was hearing my roommate scream “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH” I had absolutely no idea what was about to unfold. 1,200 murdered. 251 taken hostage. A festival massacre. Sirens all across Israel. Terrorists in Kibbutzim. Displaced families. IDF soldiers are being called back to reserves. Israel began to fight for her survival.

My program quickly pivoted and made difficult decisions to ensure our safety. On October 9th, we were moved to a Kibbutz near Eilat, called Kibbutz Ketura. At this point, over half of the participants in my program left Israel without any idea of when or if they would return. Everyone was terrified of getting stuck in the country so their first instinct was to leave as soon as possible.

My thought process was a little bit different. I had come to Israel with no intention of returning home for 9 months and I am proud to say that I kept that commitment to myself.

I watched a beautiful community come together stronger than ever. My friends and I sorted through clothing for displaced families, packaged food for soldiers, and worked in the fields in kibbutzim after reservists had to leave to protect the country. Although there were several moments where I felt utterly helpless, it was my madrich, Gur that put things into perspective for me.

Early in the morning on October 7th, he was called back to his combat unit and later that day was sent to Sderot. On October 12th I received a text from him that read “Hi Darya! I’ve heard the whole situation might not be easy for you, just to let you know everything is okay and we’re doing good. I hope you are also doing okay and enjoying your time in Eilat. A good friend from my team died on Saturday. Deep inside I’m devastated, but I know, same as my friends, that right now is the time to be strong. We have no other option. Israel and the Jewish people had lots of difficulties throughout history and we will rise, as we always did. Stay safe and send my regards! We will be okay.” Gur’s inspiring words gave me the strength to go on even when times were hard.

It was when I returned to Tel Aviv 6 weeks later that I truly felt at home. Through all the darkness and horror, I never wanted to be anywhere else. It was my job as a young Jewish woman to stay and help in any way I could. I felt an obligation and responsibility to show the rest of the world what an incredibly special place Israel is. Because of my experience, I bonded with my peers on my program on a level that is indescribable. I have no doubt that these are people I will be connected to for life.

As I settled back into the new version of my gap year life, I began to appreciate things in ways I hadn’t before. I looked at life from an entirely different perspective. So many were brutally murdered or lost their homes and loved ones. I was one of the lucky ones who was safe and could help others. Moving forward I took every opportunity my program provided and never took anything for granted. I found a love for walking to the beach on a Shabbat morning, hiking in various places in the country, spending more time with family, and being present in every moment with my friends. I discovered new unique areas of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem that became staples in my day-to-day life. I sat in cafes and admired the unique culture of Israelis, fell in love with their spirit and mindset, and truly felt a sense of belonging.

May 20th, 2024, my program came to an end. After 9 months of crazy ups and downs, it was time to say goodbye to my new family. The best friends I created, the madrichim and mentors I looked up to, the lifelong memories I made, and the unforgettable experiences I had were now over. No one tells you how hard it is to say goodbye to such an influential 9 months.

However, I wasn’t done with Israel just yet. A few of my best friends and I decided to postpone our flights home for as long as we could. Over the next week, we explored and revisited our favourite places and said goodbye to our amazing life in Israel.

May 29, I boarded my flight back to Toronto. I had mixed emotions as I looked back at the life I lived. The people who entered my life changed me for the better and the hard moments I endured taught me how to keep pushing through and be more resilient. I am so grateful I was able to create such a strong connection to such a beautiful country. I am eagerly awaiting the next time I step off the plane in Ben Gurion airport and feel at home again.

When I first set out to take a gap year, I never imagined it would look the way it did. I was doing this because, like many others, I didn’t know what I wanted to study so this just seemed like a good option. This past year has shaped me and altered my outlook on life in more ways than I can describe, and I will be forever grateful for that. I am now a person who lives every moment to the fullest and understands that nothing is guaranteed so take advantage of every opportunity and express appreciation toward every unique individual that enters my life.

As a 19-year-old who just spent a year in Israel, I have never felt more connected to my people and my homeland. The immense impact this program had on the way I view my Judaism is something I value more than ever before. I am constantly seeking other young Jewish adults to connect with and share my experiences. I am proud of my Jewish identity and encourage those around me to not be afraid of wearing that title as well. I am so lucky I was able to have the opportunity to take a gap year and will forever encourage others to do the same. My love for Israel grows stronger every day and my heart goes out to all those who are still waiting for the safe return of all our hostages. Bring Them Home ALIVE. עם ישראל חי