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Holy Blossom StoriesBy Jeremy Sandler.

#FrozenSeder.

Our family all together at Pesach is probably the highlight of the holiday for me, along with springtime in the air, afikomen negotiations and, hopefully, someone serving brisket.

But one challenge of Passover has always been keeping the Seder meaningful when you have more or less the same people telling more or less the same story every year.

If your house was like mine when I grew up, the Pesach powers-that-be always encouraged any and all efforts aimed to add meaning to the Seder beyond simply reciting the Hagaddah.

That tradition endures now that I have a family of my own with my wife, Barbara, and our daughters Aliyah and Shira: we try to take an ancient story and make it relatable for today.

And If your house is anything like mine is now, nothing is more relatable than Frozen.

I’m not exactly sure when Auntie Hilary first took our eldest to see Frozen, but I do know that since then, Bubbie took her to see it again, then so did I – and that was before we got our copy of the DVD. We’ve also listened to almost nothing else since we got the soundtrack. We’ve had Frozen parties. And I know every song off by heart.

So when Pesach first appeared on the horizon, I started improvising a “Let us go” parody to the tune of “Let it go.” It fit so nicely and came together so quickly, I decided to see how far I could take it. The result turned out to be seven songs covering much of the Pesach story. Very nice responses from Rabbi Splansky and my friend, Rabbi Stephen Wise of Temple Shaarrei Beth-El in Oakville, encouraged me to try and share it with more people.

If you’re inclined to have fun with your Seder, especially if you’ll have Frozen-crazy kids in attendance, please feel free to send out these songs so you can have a show sometime between the candles and the Afikomen.

Share them on Facebook. Post karaoke versions on YouTube. If you want, help get #FrozenSeder trending on Twitter.

Most importantly, have a happy and healthy Passover.

Do You Want to lead a people?
(to the tune of ‘Do you want to build a Snowman?’)

Moses?
(Knocking: Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock)
Do you wanna lead a people?
Go down to Egypt land.

I know this bush that’s talking now
You’re kind of saying wow
It’s hard to understand.

Jews used to be free people
And now they’re not
This pharoah’s the reason why!

Do you wanna lead a people?
It has to be the Jewish people.

Moses: Is this you god?
God: You smart guy.

(Knocking)

Do you wanna lead a people?
Right now they’re toiling in the sand

I think some fun free time is overdue
I’ve got this place for you
Its called the promised land

(A short walk, mo!)

It gets a little scary
All these crying folks,
Without any time to pray-
(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

(Orchestral)

(God Knocking)

Moses

Please, I know you hear me
I’m asking you to lead the Jews

You’ll need some courage that I’ll give to you
I’m always here for you,

there will be good news.

You can take your brother
‘Cuz Aaron will see
Just what you both need to do
Do you wanna lead a people?

The Worst Time For Forever
(to the tune of ‘For the First Time In Forever’)

We used to live in yisroel
Then it sort of went to hell
So Jake’s 11 sons joined brother Joe

He was an important dude
Helped Egyptians keep their food
The right thing he just always seemed to know

Many years later in the future,
A new pharoah took the throne
And decided Jews should not call Egypt home

It’s been the worst time for forever
We’ve had no music, had no light
It’s been the worst time for forever
Just one long depressing night
We’ve never been elated or happy
Or somewhere in that zone
It’s been the worst time for forever
And we seem so alone

I thought we were the chosen ones! (gasp)
What if we find… the one?

Imagine a Jew so strong and brave
Picked by God and sent to save
All the Jews from a life full of dread
Ooh!

Suddenly Moses is standing there
Says pharoah’s guards are quite unfair
He strikes a taskmaster upside the head
Then Moses runs into the desert
And it gets even more bizarre
God speaks from a bush that starts to char

It’s been the worst time for forever
And Mo’s job is make things fun
It’s been the worst time for forever
So go tell everyone

And I know it is totally crazy
thinking they’ll listen to you
But they’ve had the worst time for forever
What else can they do
Pharoah:
Don’t let them go, don’t let them flee
Be the bad king you always have to be
Enslave, don’t save, be a mean guy
It’s the wrong move not to try and make them cry

Pharoah: Don’t listen to their god
Moses: Listen to our god
Pharoah: Cause agony for jews
Moses: It’s agony for jews
Pharoah: This guy Moses seems like quite BAD NEWS!!!
Pharoah: Bad news

Moses: It’s been the worst time for forever
Pharoah: Don’t let them go, don’t let them free
Moses: Freedoms what I’m dreaming of
Pharoah: Be the bad king you always have to be
Moses: A chance to lead out all the Jews
Pharoah: Enslave
Moses: Be in a land we love
Pharoah: Don’t save

Both:
God isn’t talking about tomorrow
God’s talking ’bout today
It’s been the worst time for forever
Set the Jews free right away

Four kids at Pesach, Four
(To the tune of ‘Love is an Open Door’)

Seder Leader: Can I just say something crazy?
Participant: I love crazy

Leader: All my life has been a series of four types of kids
That I’d kind of like share with you

Participant: I was thinking the same thing, because like —
I’ve also noticed four kid types ,  much like yourself
And if we discuss, we might find  we have  the same view

Leader:
These are who (These are who)
Participant(s):
We learn about  (learn about)
Together:
And it’s everyone  you’ve  ever known before
Four kids at Pesach, four
Four kids at Pesach, four
Four kids at Pesach, four

Not one (not two)
Not three (not two)
Four kids at Pesach, four
Leader:
I mean  the wise one (Participant: Wise?!)
Asks really amazing (Participant: questions?)
Just like I was going to ask
Leader:
Those wicked kids
Together:
remove themselves from we
(Jews! Jews again!)
Simple kids just need information
Tell those lacking interrogation
(L) God (P) freed us (L) from (P) sad (L/P’s) slavery
Say hello (say hello) to the tales of our past
Even if we’re not slaves any more
Four kids at Pesach, four
Four kids at Pesach, four
We can learn  so much more
With you (with you)
With you (with you)
Four kids at Pesach, four Leader: Can I ask  something crazy? Will you learn with  me?
Participant: Can I say something even crazier?
Yes!

Let Us Go
(To the tune of ‘Let it Go’)

Sand blows rough out in Egypt tonight;

Not a free Jew to be seen

A people bound in slavery

Because pharaoh is so mean

Pyramids we build stretch up to the sky

But it’s hard to reason with this guy

Please let us out, let us go free

Be the pharoah you don’t think you can be

Release, don’t tease, just let us go
and don’t be slow

Let us go, let us go
We can’t be slaves anymore
Let us go, let us go
we don’t want to start a war

You will care
What Moses will say
A storm is coming on
Ten plagues are heading Egypt’s way

It’s funny how the Nile
Used to be your land’s best bud
But the water you once needed
Has all turned into blood

It’s time to see what God can do
To test the limits and break through
frogs, lice, and wild bee-easts too
sick cows for you

Let us go, let us go
Boils, hail falling on your head
let us go, let us go
locusts ‘til your crops are dead

Darkness falls
and mkchat b’rochot
the storm rages on

the Hebrew God is no joke

God’s power flurries through the air into the ground
Egyptian people seeing bad stuff happen all around
And one thought snaps my mind like crisp matza dough
Moses isn’t kidding when he’s saying let my people go

Let us go, let us go

Through the Sea of Reeds so blue
let us go, let us go
We’ll write a song called Dayeinu

We will go
to Eretz Yisroel
tho crossing the Sinai

might be 40 years of hell.

Shifra and Pua Were Women
(to the tune of ‘Reindeers are Better than People’)

Shifra and Pua were women
Do you all know what they did?
They looked after Moses, made his life roses, after in the basket he hid
Yes Shifra and Pua were women
They helped Pesach turn out right
While men did work too
It’s certainly true
Without them we wouldn’t be here tonight
That’s right
Now here’s some matzah,
bite.

Seder Dinner
(To the tune of ‘Fixer Upper)

Leader: What’s the issue, dear? Why is this night different from any other?
Participants:
Is it matzah that’s dry and bland, you’d rather eat a rubber band?
Or maror that tastes so bitter you could cry?
As we scan the Seder plate there are a few things that look great
But you’ll never see a shankbone that you want to try.

What’s the deal with the seder dinner, it’s got different things
Like an order for dining, afikomen for finding
And breaks in the action when everyone sings!

What’s the deal with the seder dinner, one thing we’re certain of
Whoever prepared this seder dinner cooked it up with love!

Leader: Can we please just keep talking about this? We’ve got real, actual questions here

Participants: I’ll say! So tell me, dear —

Participants:
Is it the dipping green herbs twice
Or some reclining that feels nice
Oy, zaide sometimes falls asleep right in his chair

Do you drink four cups of wine

each one at its appointed time
Or consider modern slaves about whom we all should care?

What’s the deal with the seder dinner, look at the hallel
Our consternation is confirmation of our desperation for learning well
What’s the deal with the seder dinner, does it make you a good jew
The way to enjoy this seder dinner is taking different points of view
Leader: that’s not enough, we need to ask more questions
(beat)
Trolls:
So you know this seder dinner, we make quite a fuss
This quote ‘ex-oh-dus” freed all of us
and now there’s soup with matzo ball
yes, we’ve got a seder dinner, ‘cuz slavery was nixed

then the sea I say got out of the way and whole thing all got fixed

We’re not saying do this all the time, ‘cuz people do like bread
We’re only saying for a week each year try matzah instead
Pharoah made bad choices and tried to keep our people down
But God sent lots of love our way (sent lots of love our way), Egypt’s soldiers they did drown

Egypt’s soldiers they did drown
What’s the deal with the seder dinner, what is it all about?
Father! Sister! Brother! We teach each other to help us up and round us out
That’s the deal with the seder dinner,
and pesach can’t be beat
our seder dinner seder
will only finish later when

we
we
we
we
Eat!!!!!!

In Jerus’lem
(to the tune of ‘In Summer’)

Leader:
I’m guessing you never had Pesach in Jersualem

[Participant:]
Nope! But every year I close my eyes,
And imagine what seder’s would be like in Jerusalem

Has it all, starting with the Western Wall
Seder starts when night does fall in Jerusalem
Matzah times three, wine is out for you and me

The hagaddah we need to see in Jerusalem

I’ll finally see the Temple Mount as we fill the seder plate
Charoset is for sale by the old city gate
And I can’t wait to see, the karpas they have for me.
Just imagine rabbis so cool from H U C in Jerusalem

Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bah bah bah bah boo

King David’s  a hotel and it’s also a tomb
Know which to call when you’re booking a room

Rrr Raht da daht dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo

The diaspora’s a fine place to stay for awhile
But Pesach in  Jerusalem will give you a — happy seder

Though life gets rough, I like to hold on to my dream,
relaxing in the springtime sun of Yerushaliyim

Oh the sky would be blue, find the afikomen here’s a clue
When I finally do some Pesach things too in Jerusaelm

[Leader:]
Should we say next year?
[Participant:]
That’s our prayer!
[Leader:]
In Jerusalem!!!

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Showing 2 comments
  • Yael Scutaru
    Reply

    What a great idea! Will print to use next week. Happy Passover!

  • Lisa Isen Baumal
    Reply

    amazing Jeremy! thanks for sharing. we will definitely use some of these in our seder next week!

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